


Spies Like Cordelia

by Sincerely_Sierra



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Accidental Double Date, Dates, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Motherly Cordelia, Spying, movies - Freeform, protective Cordelia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 13:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17643704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincerely_Sierra/pseuds/Sincerely_Sierra
Summary: Cordelia becomes suspicious of Zoe and Madison and follows them around with Misty to see what they’re actually up to, but the two get more than they bargained for.





	Spies Like Cordelia

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know why I did this. I just did.
> 
> —Sincerely, Sierra

Fiona always told Cordelia when she was just a girl that, if you go digging long enough, you’re bound to find some dirt. Back then, the now-Supreme didn’t quite get the metaphor. Now, as a full adult, she knows it means mind your own fucking business and you won’t get slapped. 

 

However, Cordelia was never one to listen to her mother, even more so now that Fiona is long gone and can’t jabber on for hours. Even dead, Fiona’s words of advice fall on Cordelia’s deaf ears. The Supreme is Supreme for a reason; she knows best and has enough natural power and wisdom to lead a legion. So when she notices Madison and Zoe sneaking around more often, alarm bells sound off in her head.

 

It’s no secret that Zoe and Madison were sworn enemies at the start. Madison pretended to kill Zoe, for Christ’s sake. But two years on, after Zoe’s 19th birthday, there seems to be some funny business going on behind Cordelia’s back, and she can safely say that she is not a fan. She is aware of the faint giggles that cease when her presence is known, and the incessant neediness Madison has been showing off to Zoe lately.

 

Cordelia wants to be let in on the secret, whatever it is. It’s killing her to not know why these two frenemies are suddenly underage barhopping and spending every goddamn waking second attached at the hip.

 

She goes to Queenie first as she is fixing herself a sandwich. The voodoo witch sits at the kitchen island with her plate and questions the Supreme’s sudden inquiry about Zoe and Madison.

 

“Does it matter? I mean, I don’t care enough to ask them, but they’re quiet. You should be happy,” Queenie says, popping a chip in her mouth.

 

“I’m happy they are getting along, but I’m wondering why they’re getting along. Usually Madison will call Zoe a name, Zoe will reply with ‘drop dead, bitch,’ and then they go to sleep. The type of kids you want to beat. Now it’s like they’ve been replaced with good kids I’ve always wanted,” Cordelia says with a shrug as she sweeps an absentminded finger across the island.

 

“Then why are you worried if they’re what you’ve always wanted? I say just leave it be.” Queenie rolls her eyes.

 

Cordelia sighs in defeat. She wants to leave it alone and enjoy not having to hear Zoe and Madison killing each other upstairs, but she continues to itch. She doesn’t like this. She is Supreme, and the Supreme knows everything. What if something is truly wrong, something unbalanced, and she has no way of knowing? Her coven could perish if she doesn’t find out why her two witch bitches are out doing who knows what.

 

That just won’t work. Not in Cordelia’s book.

 

+++

 

Misty is pretty innocent in herself. She talks to plants more than people, and Cordelia curses herself when she resorts to asking her for a favor after Queenie snorts and washes her hands of this messy plan Cordelia has going on. She doesn’t want to use Misty; not in the slightest, but she needs a little help in devising her plan.

 

The wild-blonde necromancer is watering her plants as she listens to Stevie on the radio, completely indulged in her own mood, when Cordelia enters the greenhouse. It’s unusually hot and sticky in here today, probably from all the rain and such. Cordelia begins to sweat.

 

“Misty?” Cordelia asks.

 

Misty jumps out of her skin and whips around to face Cordelia, curls tangling in the air. She smiles and sets her watering can on the work table.

 

“Ya scared me so badly, I just about had a heart attack!” Misty says, one hand on her chest. “What’s wrong? You look all worried.”

 

If only Misty knew that she isn’t only worried, she’s terrified. Of course, she doesn’t believe that Zoe or Madison would do anything to harm the coven or themselves, but they are amateurs. They could be out dancing in a club with fire on their fingertips, for all Cordelia knows.

 

“Well, I am a little worried,” Cordelia says.

 

“‘Bout what?” Misty asks as she refills her can with hose water.

 

“Have you noticed that Madison and Zoe are spending a lot of time together? More than usual?”

 

A simple shrug and an “eh” is all Cordelia gets out of the Cajun at first. She’s too caught up in tending to her greenery.

 

“Well, Delia,” Misty says, clicking her tongue, “they do spend a lot of time together. But they’re roommates! And friends. I think it’s normal for them. Besides, I’d rather see them laughing and getting along than strangling each other. It gets hard bringing someone back to life after so many attempts.”

 

Well, that’s very unhelpful.

 

“I’m just dying to know why they’re so—so. . .”

 

“Lovey-dovey?” Misty giggles.

 

That stuns Cordelia right in place, like it’s burning her into a mere outline in the concrete. Love? Absolutely not. Those two could never love each other. They can barely keep up a conversation without Madison calling Zoe a bitch.

 

“Can’t be,” Cordelia murmurs. “They don’t have the capacity to love each other.”

 

“Delia, love is a very strong, strange thing. It comes and it goes. It can just about drive ya mad if you aren’t careful. I think every human has some capacity to love. Even someone as terrible as Madison,” Misty says.

 

Cordelia admires the witch’s optimism. At least someone still has faith around here.

 

“I don’t know, Misty. Should I try to see what they’re up to?” Cordelia wonders aloud.

 

Misty stops fiddling with a flower. “You mean spy? That’s awful, Cordelia.”

 

“I just want to be sure they’re okay and aren’t getting into trouble. I hate mentioning this, but I’ve already dealt with that one time Queenie got sucked in by Marie.” It burns like acid in Cordelia’s throat. Both the thought of betrayal and the memories of her beloved witch disowning her for a darker side hurt her and cut open old wounds.

 

“Are you sayin’ that you don’t trust them? That they’re out to hurt you or somethin’?” Misty questions, glaring accusingly at the older woman.

 

“No, I’m saying I’m worried beyond belief for them. Please help me out.”

 

“Fine,” Misty drawls. “What d’ya want me to do?”

 

+++

 

Zoe and Madison come downstairs giggling. They’re dressed differently, which means they aren’t lounging in pajamas all day like some sort of depressed, unemployed housewives. Their hair is clean and shiny and Zoe is actually wearing the tiniest bit of makeup that makes her lips seem a bit fuller and her cheeks a bit pinker.

 

Cordelia watches them from the living area, using a spell book as a guise of minding her business. Madison takes note of Cordelia sitting there, and suddenly their laughing stops. Zoe grabs Madison’s keys from the hook and twirls them around her finger as she slips a crossbody purse over herself.

 

“Where are you two off to?” Cordelia nonchalantly questions, absentmindedly flipping a page.

 

“Out. We’ll be back tonight,” Zoe says.

 

“It is tonight.” Cordelia’s eyes flick to the window that presents a clear night sky with a paint-like moon.

 

“Well, later tonight,” replies Zoe. “Come on, Madison. We’ll be late.”

 

 _Late_. An appointment? At night?

 

Without so much as a goodbye to their Supreme, the two young witches leave, the large door clicking behind them. Cordelia immediately drops her book and rushes to the foyer to snatch her car keys. She tumbles into the kitchen where she last saw Misty and finds the Cajun woman indulging in ice cream.

 

“Where ya going in such a hurry?” Misty asks.

 

“Come on, we’re gonna follow them,” Cordelia says.

 

“Who?”

 

“Zoe and Madison! They just left and they’re acting funny. I think something is wrong.” Hey breaths are becoming more panicky by the second.

 

With an eye-roll, Misty hops off the stool and picks up the pint of ice cream, tucking it under her arms like it’s a newspaper.

 

“Wait, let me get a napkin,” Misty says, going to grab one from the table, but Cordelia catches her wrist and tugs her to the door.

 

“Forget it, just wipe your hands on the seat.”

 

Misty allows herself to be dragged to the car like a rag doll. The two get in Cordelia’s car just in time to see Madison’s at the stop sign at the end of their street, brake lights lit up. Cordelia turns the car on and reverses out of the driveway, being sure that both the gate and garage are closed, not that she cares or anything.

 

Madison makes a right-hand turn, so Cordelia follows suit, but slower, in case Madison or Zoe catches onto her.

 

“Cordelia, this is wrong,” Misty suddenly says, mouth full of chocolate ice cream. “We shouldn’t be spyin’ on these girls. They’re probably just having fun.”

 

“I have a bad feeling, Misty. I just want to know they’re safe. It’s my job as Supreme to take the upmost care of my girls. What if they’re out playing with something they have no business playing with? Then what?” The amount of stress in Cordelia’s voice startles Misty a bit.

 

The conversation ends there. Misty allows Cordelia to have her little anxiety attack as they continue their adventure led by Madison. They drive forever, until they reach the busiest part of town. Cordelia loses sight of Madison’s car a few times but tries her hardest to regain it. The traffic tonight is terrible. So many cars and crowds and pedestrians.

 

“Where the hell are these two going?” Cordelia grumbles to herself.

 

Misty polishes off the ice cream and closes the carton, licking the last bit off the spoon. She sighs and sits back against the seat, admiring the stars above.

 

“You’re worrying too much. I’m telling you, I think they want to have fun,” Misty insists.

 

Cordelia wants to believe Misty, but it’s impossible the further away the get from home. Madison ends up taking them to the movie theater on the other side of town. Cordelia parks at least ten spots away from them as to not be caught.

 

“The movies?” she mumbles. “This is where they planned to go? We have Netflix! I just bought a subscription like Zoe begged me!”

 

Misty giggles. “Ya see, Delia? All that worryin’ for nothing!”

 

“I’m going in. I want to see what they’re doing,” Cordelia says as she unbuckles her seatbelt.

 

“Cordelia, let them have privacy. It seems like a date,” Misty gushes with the most adorable smile.

 

“This place is packed. I don’t trust people. You know Zoe has social anxiety,” the Supreme says.

 

Misty has no choice but to follow.She, in fact, did not know Zoe suffers from social anxiety, but she does know it’s a shit excuse for Cordelia’s spying. Obviously, if the girl was having a crippling bout of anxiety due to being in public, she’d still be home. Cordelia is spreading herself way too thin.

 

It’s a Friday night and a new scary movie was released last week, so it’s naturally packed to the max. Misty and Cordelia stay wedged together as to not float away in the crowds of people. Both Madison and Zoe are rather tiny, but Cordelia notices the bleach blonde hair and the honey brown locks inches apart ahead of her. She grabs Misty’s arm and follows the girls, eyes trained ahead.

 

“Delia, let’s just go. The movie’s prolly sold out,” Misty begs as she starts pulling away.

 

Lucky for Cordelia, there are two seats available in the theater after Madison and Zoe buy their tickets. She purchases them and takes Misty inside the building, where people are rushing around buying snacks and giggling about the movie they’re going to see. The Supreme ducks her head when Madison and Zoe pay for a huge bucket of popcorn and sodas.

 

“Look at those two! I told them no junk food because it upsets Zoe’s stomach!” Cordelia hisses, head still careened down.

 

“Ugh, let them be stupid kids. Come on, the movie starts in five minutes,” Misty says.

 

It takes prodding from Misty to calm the older woman down. Once Cordelia has found the strength to get over Zoe’s binge on junk food, she composes herself and the two enter their assigned theater where this supposed “scary” movie is playing. The poster didn’t look all that terrifying.

 

The theater is lightly illuminated with spotlights as previews play on the screen. Although there are tons of people and the lights are dimming, Cordelia can see a sliver of Zoe’s face as she walks up the set of stairs to get to their own row. Her heart falters. She looks so happy and suddenly, Delia feels guilty for assuming the worst of her.

 

“Aw, look at ‘em,” Misty whispers in Cordelia’s ear. “It is a date. How cute is that?”

 

“They’re just watching a movie together,” Cordelia replies as they pass people and sit in their seats. “If watching a movie means you’re on a date, that means we’re on a date.”

 

“I’m fine with that,” Misty murmurs as the speakers rumble and the movie starts.

 

“Huh?” Cordelia asks, turning her phone off like the screen tells her to.

 

“Sh!” A man in the row above them glares at Cordelia’s head.

 

After shooting him a nasty glare, Cordelia settles next to Misty. Eventually Misty becomes entranced with the movie, but all Cordelia is worried about are Zoe and Madison, who are seated just four rows ahead.

 

Throughout the movie, Misty makes little squeaking noises every time a jump scare happens, and Cordelia is totally unfazed by it. She’s seen worse in her own home.

 

After yet another pathetic Hollywood jump-scare, Zoe leans into Madison and cuddles up to her.

 

“Misty, look,” whispers the Supreme.

 

Misty tears her eyes away from the screen and follows Delia’s gaze. Her face breaks out into a grin and she quietly squeals like a fucking fangirl.

 

“They are so cute,” Misty whispers. “Told ya they were on a date.”

 

Cordelia smiles to herself. She has to admit, it is kind of sweet. Under the rough exterior, Madison is actually a sweetheart. The way she’s cuddling and fussing over Zoe couldn’t prove that any more. No wonder they’ve been making not-so-subtle heart eyes at each other.

 

Suddenly, Cordelia feels warm breath next to her face, and she snaps her head to the right to find the same guy from behind them.

 

“Seriously, you two need to shut up. We’re tying to watch the movie. If you two want to talk on your gross gay date, do it somewhere else,” he hisses into Cordelia’s ear.

 

Sending him a nasty glare, Misty guides him straight back into his seat without moving from her own. Her mind control has skillfully improved in the past few months. Normally, Cordelia would chastise her for using powers in public, but she allows it to slide since it’s dark and not worth getting worked up over when she paid to see this stupid movie, which is nearly over.

 

Misty careens very close to Delia’s ear and whispers, “I bet they’ll kiss by the end of the movie. Watch.”

 

They both continuously switch from the movie screen to Zoe and Madison, getting more agitated and impatient as the minutes pass. It’s not that Cordelia cares if they do or not; it’s that she stupidly wasted a Friday night doing this and she wants something out of it.

 

Finally, after the resolution of the movie, Zoe pecks Madison on the lips, which the blonde quickly returns. For some reason, it causes Cordelia to feel a bit sad and. . .jealous? Jealous that she wishes she could have something like their puppy teenager love? Silly. She’s been married, she was like that once. But it wasn’t worth it in the end.

 

The lights come up and the credits roll. Soon people exit the theater in loud bunches, rattling on and on about the movie. Zoe and Madison stand up and Cordelia ducks, pulling Misty down with her. They remain wedged between the rows like two tacos.

 

“You’re killin’ my back, Delia,” Misty murmurs.

 

“I don’t want them to not trust me,” Cordelia says, somewhat guiltily.

 

“Well, hell, I wouldn’t trust ya, either.”

 

“Very comforting, Misty,” Cordelia replies with an eye-roll.

 

When Delia is sure the coast is clear, she carefully pops her head up. The theater is empty, save for a single employee sweeping the row where Zoe and Madison were previously sitting. Delia notices popcorn on the floor, and she mentally curses.

 

“Oh, I’m gonna kill those two. They know to clean up after themselves,” she hisses as she and Misty get up. “I’m not raising a couple of slobs.”

 

“Thought ya didn’t want them to know. Ain’t that why you almost broke my spine just now?” Misty asks in a teasing way.

 

Grumbling to herself, Cordelia exits the theater, the Cajun trailing behind. It’s almost ten pm and the lobby is a desert. The final movies of the night are about to play, so it’s much easier to get around. The smell of popcorn butter and grease assault Delia’s nose and make her cringe. She hates junk food and she knows Zoe will have her head in the toilet tonight.

 

Madison’s car is gone by the time the two witches get into Cordelia’s. They sit in uncomfortable silence for a minute, before Misty smiles at Cordelia, illuminated by the small overhead light in the car.

 

“Well, at least I had fun. The movie was a little scary,” Misty says.

 

“I’ve seen worse at the house,” Cordelia deadpans. “Nothing is scarier than watching Madison dangle Nan out the window.”

 

“Do ya miss her?” Misty asks.

 

“Of course. I missed Madison like hell. I missed you. I miss all my witches. There is no greater pain than losing a witch and not knowing when—or if—you can bring them back. It’s a nightmare,” Cordelia admits. “Nan’s death tore me apart. Madison’s gave me conflicting feelings but I just let myself grieve because she has a certain something about her that I just missed. Zoe wasn’t gone for that long, but even that short time almost killed me. Your death caused me to be numb for a long, long while. I still would be if you hadn’t been brought back.”

 

Misty gives a comforting smile and squeezes Cordelia’s hand. She’s warm, like the living always should be. She’s really here. It seems like a confusing dream to Cordelia.

 

“Well, don’t you worry. I’m right here and I ain’t going anywhere,” Misty says.

 

“Good.” Cordelia can’t help but return the smile still plastered on Misty’s lips.

 

“What’s that smell?” Misty suddenly asks, sniffing around the car. “Smells like grease or somethin’ rotting.”

 

“All I smell is shitty movie theater popcorn,” Cordelia replies.

 

Misty slides off the seat and starts digging around below it. She unearths a McDonalds chicken nugget box that was wedged between the seat and console and pulls herself into the seat.

 

“It’s this,” she says as she pops open the container, revealing three fermented, stale nuggets that reek of oil and fat.

 

“Oh, those stupid girls,” Cordelia snarls. “I told them not to eat in my car! God, I swear, I feel like I’m babysitting forever in my own house with no pay.”

 

“I think that’s called parenting, Delia.”

 

The necromancer is too wise for her own good, but perhaps she’s right. Cordelia is taking care of these girls but sometimes she just has an urge to slap them around like rag dolls.

 

“Ugh. Let’s just get home before they realize what we’ve done,” Cordelia says, turning the car on.

 

“I feel kinda bad. Don’t you?” Misty asks.

 

“A little. I’ve just been fucked so many times that I’m always afraid that they’re getting into something they shouldn’t. I want nothing more than to protect them. But I should’ve seen this coming. They’re always with each other and haven’t tried to murder each other lately. I guess I shouldn’t have spied on them,” Cordelia admits. “I don’t want them to get hurt, but knowing them, someone will die before they let the other get hurt.”

 

“I think it’s cute. Wish I had something like that,” Misty says. “I’ve never been in an actual relationship or nothin’. I was taught to save myself for marriage. Nobody wants me.”

 

A tiny smile tugs at Cordelia’s lips. “I’m not sure that’s true.”

 

Misty gives a careless shrug. The rest of the ride is quiet, but peacefully so. Madison and Zoe have still not yet returned by the time Cordelia and Misty arrive at Robichaux’s. Cordelia doesn’t bother to worry about where they went; she’s learned her lesson.

 

“I’m exhausted,” Misty yawns as Cordelia tosses her keys onto the end table.

 

“Me too,” Cordelia echoes as she sits in the same spot she was before she took off after the two adolescents.

 

The front door squeaks open and in come Zoe and Madison. Zoe is clutching her stomach and whining as Madison helps her to the stairs.

 

“That’s what happens when you eat half a tub of popcorn and two ice cream cones!” Madison tells Zoe. “Go puke it out. I’ll be up there in a minute.”

 

Nodding, Zoe goes upstairs, whimpering the whole way to their shared room. Madison spins on her heel to face Cordelia.

 

“So what was your favorite part of the movie?” the small blonde questions. Surprisingly, she’s not angry or resentful. If anything, she’s. . .amused?

 

“What?” Cordelia asks. Heat rises on her neck and her ears burn.

 

“Oh, come on. Your voice cuts through steel. I heard you and swampy back there. If you’re going to spy, you could at least be quieter,” Madison says with a roll of her eyes.

 

“So did you plan on telling me?” No use in lying now; the Supreme has been busted.

 

“Not really. We thought you were bright enough to figure it out. Guess not. Well, surprise! We’re dating and fucking!”

 

Misty cringes. “Now I want to puke.”

 

Zoe starts crying for Madison from upstairs, so Madison groans and goes up to her, leaving Cordelia and Misty stunned like two couch potatoes. Cordelia starts to laugh.

 

“God, I can’t believe tonight actually happened.” She runs a hand over her tired face. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Misty.”

 

“Night, Delia.”

 

Cordelia shuts off all the lights and prepares to go to sleep, but she leaves her door ajar. Something tells her she won’t be alone tonight.

 

And sure enough, a quarter to midnight, the door creaks and Zoe and Madison tumble in like two scared babies. Zoe is somewhat green in the face from eating like shit tonight, so Cordelia tucks her under one arm and Madison under the other, rubbing Zoe’s belly with one hand.

 

“Bet you won’t see another horror movie at night anymore, will you?” Cordelia teases.

 

“I just feel awful. Madison was the one who got scared,” Zoe mumbles into her Supreme’s shirt.

 

Madison has nothing to defend herself with, because it’s true. She just won’t outright admit it.

 

Again, the door creaks. This time it’s Misty, in all her tired, half-asleep glory. Her hair is even more wild from fighting sleep. She sheepishly stands at Cordelia’s bedside, rocking back and forth on her heels. Sighing, Cordelia lifts the blankets on Zoe’s side, inviting the Cajun in. Misty immediately crawls into the bed, and all four are crammed like sardines.

 

“Should’ve minded my own damn business,” Cordelia mutters before closing her eyes.

 


End file.
